Monday, April 28, 2003


I am so tired of not being able to sleep properly. Last night went something like this: Watched "Manchild" on BBC America. It's the story of 4 middle-aged British men goign through their mid-life crises. It's hilarious usually (and it's got Anthony Stewart Head). New series started last night so I wanted to see it. Finished about 10.40pm so not terribly late. About 10.30 took some Valerian Root (double dose cos one seems to do nothing for me). Felt myself beginning to drift off. About 11pm headed to bed. Put the radio on...and lay there....listening....not a hint of sleep wandering across my body. I remember a very awful song being played and then....yayyyy...I must have nodded off. Next thing I know...11.40pm and I'm wide awake. Don't know what caused it but all thoughts of sleep wiped from my mind. Put the radio back on. Tried to relax, hoping something would happen. It PC beeped...a lot. Oh, wot the hell, might go and see what's happening. It was Rob. Hi. Started chatting on-line. Then he phones me. Hey it's midnight...don't call me unless it's important. It was very important....he's after a video that he can only find in the UK, can I convert it to US for him or do I know someone that can. Actually I might do. And then he starts telling me about other stuff. How he's still celibate (been going on for a month or so I think...maybe longer). That's nice. Then there's a story about some girl that he got drunk with. Didn't want to sleep with her or anything but claims he "behaved like a chick". Why are you telling me this? Why did you wake me up for this? I don't wanna know. Got enough issues of my own to deal with. Anyway, went through the story and some other stuff and finally fell back into bed at 1.15am. And lay there....thinking bout things. All upset now. How can I sleep? Mind's in overdrive. Eventually it came.....and then the alarm went off at 6.20am. Uuuuuugggggh........can't get up, can't get up...gotta get up...meeting at 9am....uuuuggggghhhhh.......

Funny thing was, we were talking at work and it was like noone slept last night. Weird. This isn't the first time it's happened. Whenever I have really bad nights it's like the "boys" did as well (4 BDMs and 6 AMs...all male I can call them boys). Anyway, postponed my dance lesson this evening cos I'm very tearful. Some of it's probably tiredness. Some of it's back-related. After the 9am meeting, stood up and had this sudden shooting pain in my back. By the time I got to my desk I was ready to pass out. BK came to talk to me and then ran away. Told me later I'd gone really white....gee, you abandoned me???? Twix bar and a banana seemed to cure it a bit but can feel spasms. Damn!!!! So...tonight....I shall heat pack myself, cry a little and then go to bed at a very early hour.....and NOT get up for the PC or the phone or the door.........pleasant dreams!

Oh, before I forget...Bro-in-law...still in Basra. Apparently, they've been volunteered for another 4 weeks of peace-keeping. Great. They send home the "proper" army but keep the part-timers least the end is in sight (which is more than can be said for Sadaam!).


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