Monday, August 04, 2003

Ever say something and then wish you hadn't?

Me...all the time!

I was having an exchange of emails with the guy I saw on Friday and he told me some stuff that I wasn't really expecting. Nothing bad...just totally opened up to me about some really personal things...thought it was incredibly flattering that he felt he could trust me after such a short time. So, being me, I shared some things about me and my life. I probably wouldn't have done it but each time we've spoken and when I met him there just seemed to be something comfortable about him. I say that as a compliment! He appears more mature than a lot of the people (guys) I've met which just made me want to open up to him. So I did! I told him about an incident in my life that I don't think I've ever told anyone....and no, I'm not going to repeat it here! Didn't know if I should but what with all those good vibes I just thought "go for it". Hesitated before I sent the email and then decided to hit that button and move away from the keyboard. After all, what's the worst that could happen? Never hear from him again!! Booohoooo. Felt OK about it for a while and then the fears set in. Did I say too much? Is that really something I should tell someone I've only just met? What would I do if someone sent me an email like that? Hmmm. Was it a mistake? At the time it felt right...and certainly there was great relief that, at last, I'd told another person one of my deepest secrets. But then I went into the "shit, he's going to think I'm a total nut" mode. Woke up this morning resigned to the fact that I'd probably never hear from him. And you know what, there was the sweetest email waiting for me. I wanted to cry. He was so lovely about it all, took it totally in his stride. Of course time will tell as to whether he really meant what he said but right now, it feels good!!!


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