Monday, January 06, 2003

Last Night I Had the Weirdest Dream!

Just as I was thinking about curling up in front of the tv to watch Manchild (BBC America) my pc started beeping at me. Oh, can I be bothered to answer it? Well, I'll just see who it is. Ohmigod. The MIA cute Canadian that broke my heart....or was it my bed? Hello stranger. How've you been? Apparently things are not wonderful in Canadaland. His ex reappeared and he went up to Toronto to help her out. And then he said that she wanted to get back together with him and he wanted to try things. Which is cool...sucky but cool. So I asked about the weather...thinking it was a safe subject. And then it all came out. The weather has been frightful and the poor babe needed warming up. Hey, it's Sunday night. About 11pm. I have work tomorrow. I should go to bed and forget about him. Wanna come over? Really? Yeah, why not. I'm "restless". Be right over. About 30 mins later, there was a knock at the door. Still looks as cute as ever. Me in my dressing gown. Him fully dressed. Hmm. Have to change that. And the rest...well you can imagine. He said he'd missed me. I think that was probably just a line....but it worked. Couple of hours later I drift off to sleep. Later this morning as I wake up....was it a dream? Guess the empty condom packet will testify to the fact that it wasn't a dream. Just pretty stupid....but nice. Really nice. Shit. He's going to mess me up again, isn't he? It was funny but the second I saw him on-line I burst into tears. And all I could think of was how much I'd missed those stupid late night chats and his emails.

Anyway, he's working this evening. I sent him an email earlier to try and clarify some things. So he won't get it probably til I've gone to sleep. I think it was good that I saw him. In some ways I think that I've reached the "closure" that people are always talking about. If he doesn't reply then it doesn't matter. When I woke this morning I had the..."well that was nice" feeling. Not the "counting the seconds til I hear from you" feeling. I'm over him. But if he does reply and wants more....will I let him have it? Probably cos I have no self-control. LOL It's a very strange life.

One good thing did happen as a result. I drove into work this morning determined to get someone to buy me lunch. He's married and he really reminds me of someone I used to work with. He's been flirting with me since I got there but he's married (yes, i know i just said that!) so he has to make the first move cos I certainly won't. Today I decided that I need to get very drunk and fling myself at him. Life's too short. I was going to behave well this year and sort my life out but, you know what, 5 days into the New Year and I've been through three men already. At this rate I should be able to get that figure up to about 100 before 2004 rolls around...gotta be one of them that sticks!!!! I'm trying to laugh at that but it's not funny. It stinks.


Post a Comment

<< Home