Very emotional day...actually given the time...it's now a day and a bit...but still more emotion than I can handle!!! Been through everything today. Woke up this morning and decided I was going to give the dance class a miss...hey, it's the first one in nearly 3 months that i've blown off...that's pretty good. Thought I'd start packing...burst into tears. Calmed down....packed a bit...a little tiny bit...burst into tears again. Got depressed, sat at the PC doing the mundance clear-up of junk email. Ok, pretty safe....until I notice...yes, he's online....hmmm.....should I? Of course, I should! So I beep him and we have a little chat about things and I tell him I'm very unhappy and he should come round...maybe he will, maybe not....we know what that means. So few more tears....pathetic I hear you cry. Yes completely but I forgot moving is tough and I need to be in the right frame of mind to pack. Somehow get motivated. Actually found that wrapping china in bits of paper is pretty theraupeutic....note that down for future reference.

About 11am realise that I've not eaten since yesterday lunchtime...aha my sugar levels are obviously screwed up...perhaps that's why I'm being so silly. Eat. Much better. Speak to Sherri...went round to see her. She's going away in about 6 hours so she gave me a set of keys and her telephone number...just in case. The sun is shining now....beautiful out and I'm stuck inside playing with cardboard....typical! Next doors's started work on his fence.....banging around so the house shakes....ssssss......

Really pathetic now...checked IM...he's not online. I'm not phoning him...he can call me! Much more positive. Speak to Robin and told her the saga of last night and the moving depression. She's trying to be chirpy and tell me this is all positive stuff but I can tell she's really trying to convince herself as much as me. Anyway, she refuses to come out to play tonight...friends in town so wants to see them. Sharon called...being her usual non-commital self...well, I don't know if I'm going to go cos it's so hot.....etc., etc......whatever!

It's now about 5pm and I need a bath. Just sitting here drying off and.....IM beeps.....why don't you come over to my place before the dance tonight?? Hmmmm.....now Robin would tell me that I shouldn't go but I'm thinking that if I go over, I can make him drive there...which means we go together so that means we leave together...and it doesn't matter who else turns up....I get first dibs on the post-party entertainment. Plus I'm weak. Of course I'd love to come over...even though I'm half naked, not eaten, hair still wet and now I need to be out the house in 10 minutes......made it...and then get stuck behind some student driver tootling along at 25mph...overtake, no way, not the way he's meandering across the road. So, I was late but only a few minutes. Get the tour of the house, drink, talk, check out a few new songs...then leave for the dance. At this point we are like 30 minutes late so I'm thinking yippeee...we can make an entrance...posession is 9/10 of the law...get your hands off him ladies!!!!!!! And yes, he drove!!! I'm so devious.

The dance itself was fairly non-eventful. No Sharon, no TOW (yippee but also a bit boo cos it would have been nice to rub her nose in it!!!). Bob did turn up despite saying he wouldn't. Phyliss was also back after 7 weeks off from knee surgery.....looks pretty good but still taking it easy. Then afterwards, well we had to go back to his place, didnt we....my car was there, wot, you think I'm stupid or something! Won't go through the rest of the evening but we talked about stuff and I think we've got some things resolved...just have to wait and see.....at any rate, my equilibrium has been restored and again it's another night when I return to my little bed in a good mood...and wot more can I want at the moment? Oh yeah...he sort of hinted about going out tomorrow (later) but I didn't actually get a proper invite...although I pushed so we shall see...just have to make sure I'm available in case.......and if I'm not, well I know who he'll be with and it's noone threatening so it doesn't matter!