Thursday, August 11, 2005

More about the MotM

Man of the moment, in case you didn't realise.

Still very confused about what's going on with him. I do know he's not seeing anyone (good) but he doesn't seem to the kind that will make a move and I'm still not sure I'm ready to pounce....although I'm about two seconds away from embarassing myself totally. He claims to be pretty observant (he caught me on one of my "personality flaws" the other morning and was spot on....something noone else has ever noticed or had the guts to mention) surely he must realise this????? I had a moment of weakness and ended up telling him something that noone else at work knows....or I would want to know. So there's part of me that trusts him and part of me that still thinks this is a really bad idea and can only end in tears. Although, if it did at least I'd know one way or the other. I also think I'm a little too liberal for him...that I don't think he could handle (son of an ex-minister type). Ho hum. What to do? What to do? I need to find someone that can ask him but, if I did that, then they'd know as well and it would be doubly humiliating.........I HATE THIS!!!!!!!!!

So....anyway....we had a "meeting" last night....5 of us, in a bar, dinner, drinks (boss agreed to pay). It was an official meeting and we did actually get some work done. Then we got back on the whiskey tasting. Kept smiling at me and I was trying to work out what he was thinking. Is it me or the alcohol? Give me a clue. Failed totally to decipher it all. Going home time came. Of the 5 of us, one lives in the south so he clearly wasn't up for offering lifts to anyone. MotM and another guy take public transportation into work and I knew the last bus had left....but didn't want to end up giving them both rides home. Luckily the other woman there offered to take the other guy home (are you following this). So she offered, he accepted. They left.

Hmmmmm. So is he getting the train home? He didn't ask to go back with the other two (although they're close to him). Then he asked me if I was going to another party (just so happened there was another work do happening that evening). Decided it was too late and I didn't fancy going over there. I'm going home, you want a lift? Yes. Oh. I guess that's a good thing? We left.

Nothing happened but I did wake up about 4am thinking about it all. Tossed and turned for two and a half hours and then got up for work. Spent 45 minutes talking to him when I got in (wasn't planned, just happened). And then he left to fly out to the West Coast for some family wedding or something. So now I won't see him until Thursday and I'm very frustrated!!!!!



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