It was so hot on Sunday that I went up to The Shores to see Diamond Sound with Joe. Not bad band and a nice cool breeze off the river. Felt a lot better for about an hour. My foot was tingling so I was wandering round slowly trying to get some life back in. Then the feeling went completely and a pain started in my ankle and behind my knee. You OK? No, I don't think so. You wanna go home? I think it might be a good idea, d'u mind? Course not, come on.....

Sat out on the porch. Well, sort of collapsed in a little heap on his glider. Have some chicken wings, I can't eat them, put on too much weight. Oh, so I have to eat them instead do I....oh, these are good...mmmm......! Here have this? What is it? Ice-cream - bought you a treat. Oh sweetie!!!!!! All in all feeling much better.

9.30pm thought I'd go home. Bit early isn't it? Yeah I know but I think I'd like to get myself home and get a good nights sleep cos I'm still a little achy. I'll help you up. Thanks.....owwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww......can't stand up. Put me down. Hurts. Wow, my whole leg felt like it had just exploded. That is so not good. You're not going anywhere. Well I need to go to the bathroom so how about helping me there. OK. Managed that.....feeling very cold and sweaty now. Not happy. Think I'll just lie down on your sofa for a little while. You can stay here if you want. I want to go home and be ill in my own bed. How are you going to do that if you can't even stand up? I don't know I havent thought it through. I could drive u home but then your car would be here. You could call me in the morning if you want to go to work and I'll come pick you and up and bring you back to get it? Or I could drive you home in your car? And then how will you get home? Cab or something. Now who's not thought it through? How about you just stay here! Yeah, I don't think I'm going anywhere at the moment.

So, there I was, in total pain with Joe feeding me Tylenol and Valerian root and glasses of water (one of which I dropped all over me!). Did I sleep? Not at all...well, maybe 5 minutes but no more than that. It was hot. I was very hot. I hurt LOTS AND LOTS!!! This hurt more than when I fell downstairs and I thought that was bad!!! Did Joe sleep....er, not with the noise I was making! Ooooops.

And as I write this I realise I was meant to be at the chiropractor 20 minutes ago. Double Oooooops. So..Monday morning, bright and early. Joe ready for work. What am I going to do with you? Don't know. You should go to hospital. Don't want to. Why not. Don't like them. How about your doctor? Suppose so. Where is he? Downtown. OK. How u going to get there? Don't know (ok, i was full of pain, i wasnt able to think let alone put words together.) I'll call Sandy. Why? To look after you. Oh. Guess so. Give me your doctor's name and I'll call him and see what he says. OK..

You have to go to the ER. Why? So they can look at you. I just want something for the pain. You''ll get drugs at the ER. I'm calling am ambulance. I don't have to go on my own do I? No. OK.

I've never been in an ambulance before and I'm not sure I ever want to. I did have 2 very cute ambulancemen to look after me but, of course, as if typical, remembering all the advice my mother ever gave me.......did i have clean knickers on? Did I hell...course not I'd been wearing the same clothes since yesterday......but at least they were presentable...ish....Anyway, got to ER and they wouldn't let Sandy in. Why not? This is for people that come in ambulances. But we just did. Are you a relative. She said no and then realised she should have said yes! You can't come in. Sssssssss. Bitch from hell. Then bitch from hell quizzed me on my life. I just want DRUGS NOW. I HURT AND I'M GONNA KEEP MAKING NOISES UNTIL SOMEONE DOES SOMETHING!!!! So I did, and it worked....we got bumped up the schedule....heee heee......and then they let Sandy in as well. Phew.

And the outcome. Well, I'm not pregnant (yes they did one of those tests cos they didn't believe me!!!). I had a lot of x-rays and nothing is broken. It's just sciatica and I need to lie in bed and not go to work. Oh yeah and, as usual, they put a drip in me and managed to spill a load of blood on the bed. Hey, that stuff's precious you know!!!!!!!!! Just hope it has some mad cow stuff in it and bitch woman catches something!!

So, here I am in the office of the future. Lying on my bed, mouse on my side table, screen down by my feet on a wheelie and keyboard balanced on my legs. Pretty comfortable as long as I don't stand up.........