Ohmigod. Just spent the afternoon out on a jet-ski whizzing up and down the river. Wow. I am completely drained. I've been through every emotion from "you're gonna kill me" to "weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee, want more of this". Joe's little jet-ski...actually a very pretty Seado...... First time out this summer. Keeps saying he'll take me out on it and I went along cos I thought it would be kinda fun. And then the fateful moment came. Come over and we'll go play in the river. Errrr...."in"....I'd prefer "on". Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just tell me who to contact if anything happens. Ohmigod. Wot have I let myself in for???? It was pretty choppy to start but we headed over to the Canadian side and it got a lot calmer...which was actually worse cos he then decided to see how fast he could go! Now, I drive at well over the speed limit but, when you're in a car, you have a little bit of stuff around you to (1) keep you in and (2) hopefully, protect you! At 60 mph on a jet-ski there's....well, there's nothing but a little strap and a lot of will power. But I survived and I think I enjoyed it....!!! It could have been the pit-stop for rum and coke that helped! I said I'd go again.....FOOOOOOOL....but the tan's improved nicely.......although a little too much Rudolph for my liking......gotta go collapse now and calm down.....the adrenaline's still flowing.......eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee :-)

The one that got away

That's me! Spoke to Rob. Admittedly he was drunk. I'm going to tell you something I bet you'd never thought you'd hear! Really, wot's that then? I should never have let you go! Well of course you shouldn't but we all make mistakes! He even said he might come to Buffalo. I don't think that will ever happen but who knows........

Tell me why, tell me why, tell me why.....

..is it that when I don't enough sleep, snooze the alarm several times, I still manage to get to work earlier than I have done all week? Very strange. Came back from Jackie's "Customer Appreciation Party" full of energy and very restless...not a good thing at 11.30 on a school night. Started doing all sorts of fun things...like looking for my tax return and writing to my collection of lawyers (all of whom are called Jack!). So of course I was in no mood to hear that BEEEEEEEP at 6.30am!!!!

So....work.....new job, new people. Interesting. Nicely air conditioned....apart from the warehouse but I don't need to go in there much so that's not a biggy. Lots of men (mmmm)....few cute ones...Webmaster, Boss (ooops), Product Manager.....enough to keep me happy for a while. Job's OK as well. President knows nothing about marketing so seems pretty happy to leave me doing my own thing. Not that I get to laze around (unlike some I could mention). Got a nice target on my head but luckily that doesn't kick in for a couple of months. Stole Product Manager's parking spot. Not intentionally. Just happened to find a nice space and parked in it. He walks in and asks me if I drive a Subaru. I do indeed. That's nice. Two days later I find out why. Well it's not like the spaces are marked and there's a perfectly good spot next to the one I parked in. Not really a problem....I offered to move the car about 5.30 today so he could have the space back for a few hours. Well, I thought that was funny!!!

Larry called again today. Remember last time? Exactly the same thing. Wot u doing tonight? Going out....why? Cos I'm horny. Oh, well that's a shame cos I'm busy. Oh. If he asked a little earlier I probably would have gone round there but it was the last AM party of the month and I thought I'd go and see what's going on there. Not bad. Too hot though. Bill refused to turn the A/C below 70. Come on. We're dancing. But I got all three fave dances with Michal tonight....wooo hoooo!!! Little does he realise it might be the last time! He's got school on Thursdays from now on and I'm not going back for any more lessons with him. Wonder if he'll notice?

Oh yeah. Rob called. That was nice, wasn't it? Yeah, right. He got laid...by his date the other night. Like I really needed to know that. I didn't want to but she insisted. Of course, you're male. Did the sun rise this morning? Do you need a shag? Of course it did. Of course you do. Well, it wouldn't have polite to refuse. Don't annoy me...too hot and my stomach's still screwed up. Gonna spare you the graphic details but I thought I was OK yesterday....air conditioning seemed to be working its magic. Temperature returning to normal. More interested in eating.....well, until I decided to be sick yesterday lunchtime and nearly passed out mid-office. Had to go out for some air...not that there was any. Thunderstorm alert...so where the hell are they?????? Didn't eat last night. Today, same thing. Had some lunch. Seemed OK so I thought I'd try dinner...this would have been the first "real" meal since last Tuesday. Five minutes later...headed for the bathroom. I'm pretty sure it's the humidity doing this and it's good for the diet but I don't like it. What's really interesting is that I used to have to eat something every few hours else I got the most amazing headaches....low sugar and stuff. But since last week it's not been a problem at all. I have no idea what's going on inside me .......

Thought for the day:
"Life can never give security, it can only promise opportunity."

Wot the hell is wrong with banks? I ask them to do the simplest things and they screw it up. I'm allowed to complain, I worked for one for 10 years but, believe me, they were never this bad.

Story No. 1
I write to my bank and tell them of my new address. They write back and confirm they have changed their records. They quote my new address....err...hang on, that's not what I told them. Look... I filled in a form which contained my details. You didn't even have to key it in anywhere...assuming your database takes the entries I made and just stores it in the right place. So how the f*** do you manage to screw it up?????? I've written back to them...very politely....to tell them they're incompetent. Oh yeah, and it took them three days to process the change request.....should I trust them with my money? I think not....good job I ain't gone none!!!!

Story No. 2
I write very nicely to the bank that took over the bank I used to work for. I need a "reference". Actually, it's not a reference, it's a letter confirming my employment details - when I worked for them, what my salary was and what my jobs were. Not a "wow, she was fantastic" letter. It took me two weeks to find out who to write to because the HR department don't actually deal with this sort of thing (of course not, that would be too obvious). No, there's a separate department that apparently does't have a telephone number. Don't laugh...it's true. The best I could get was a fax...which, of course, I then couldn't use cos it was some stupid "only works from the UK" number. So I got another one. And when I say "I", I mean of course Col...who, poor dear, still works for them...but not for long, he resigned in despair. So the letter eventually got faxed....a while back.

Today, I receive a lovely letter....on headed notepaper, with no telephone number, no name of a person and no signature....just "HRdirect" typed at the bottom...telling me they can't provide a reference letter to me, it must go to a third party and if I don't like that I can contact them at the above address. But they did, very helpfully, provide a sheet of FAQs (I have my own views on what that acronym stands for!!!!).....

We will not sign reference letters cos it's against our policies....oh yeah, tell that to the Immigration people who want a signed letter.
We will respond within three days of request receipt...yeah, to tell us you can't do it....oh, and for your information, it took you longer than three days going on the date of your response!
We need full name, date of birth and National Insurance number of the person being referenced....oh, so staff salary number isn't sufficient. That makes total sense. Why didn't you tell Col that when he asked.....he was told to provide salary number, not the NI.
References will not be passed to individual employees...I don't want a reference letter, I want confirmation of employment, do you read what people write to you?
We will only provide salary details to the third party if the employee authorises it...hello, I did, it was in my letter.
We will not detail bonuses or anything other than salary. You can use your P60s for this.....according to the UK tax laws, I don't actually need to keep copies of my P60s for 13 years. I don't have this information. I asked you to provide it. If you can access my salary, you can sure access the rest of my pay details.

So, now what. I guess it's back to the fax machine to start again....sssssssssssssssss

Which Karekano Character Are You?

Karekano Character Test Created By Tiptoe39

You are Random Militant Slashers, the rogue writers of the fandom. No one knows who you are or what wayward anime fandom you came from, and no one knows exactly where you're going after this, but whilst you're here, you will slash as many characters as you can lay your hands on, without regard or recourse to propriety or canon detail. Go forth, brave soldier, and SLASH!!!!

Find out which inner circle you are.

And the money keeps rolling in....

There's a sucker born every minute, or something like that, and tonight I met a big one. Went down to the Dock with Joe. They were doing a promotion of Caribbean Twist...some fruit flavored wine thing, not that good. Anyway, when we got there we saw all these people with brightly colored t-shirts. So of course we wanted one each. Asked one of the waitresses and she bought me one. Wouldn't give us two so the challenge was on...could we get Joe a t-shirt for him? Tried really hard but the next couple of waitresses didn't want to play. And then this huge chap, wearing one of these t-shirts that was a little too snug, came up to me and asked me what size mine was. XXL (don't know why, they just bought that one and it was enormous!). What d'u want for it? What d'u mean? I'll buy it off you? Er.....$20. Ok...he took the t-shirt. Well there it goes, doubt I'll see any money. Why don't you go after him and get the money? Me? I'm the girl. You should go. Oh no, he's bigger than me! OK. So I went. And I got my $20....fastest $20 I've ever earned!!!!! Well we both came home without t-shirts but at least we made a profit on the evening!!!!!! :-)

Like Seven Inches From the Midday Sun

I was born in a temperate climate. Today was my vision of hell....I can't take this humidity!!! I must have drunk about 3 litres of water...not to mention iced tea, cream soda (yeah very bad for the stomach but I was too grumpy to care!)....and a little champagne...mmmm...The reason? Well, isn't it obvious? Of course, when it's like this I stay in air conditioned buildings and rest...don't I? Oh no, 3 hours of dancing this morning - which is a killer at the best of times but try it with no a/c....drip, drip, drip!!! Halfway through I was convinced that I was either going to melt totally or collapse in a little heap on the floor. Joe T couldn't work out what my problem was. You feel nice and cool! Not like me...hot and sweaty. Yeah, that's because you're radiating heat. My body appears to be storing it internally.....I'm SO HOT!!!! Probably not biologically correct but made him laugh.....didn't help me though.

Karen had her 7th anniversary studio party tonight. Phoned Joe. Is it air conditioned? Well, she has a window air conditioner and some fans but it's normally quite bad. That was the understatement of the century. More drip, drip, drip. 3 bottles of water later and I'm sure she still owes me some!!!! It was a nice party though. I wasn't going to go cos I was so hot and miserable but then Sharon said she needed a witness cos she was going to collect her shoes..she ordered them months ago and was worried, if they didn't fit, she'd get screwed on her deposit. So I went. As it happened one pair fitted and the others were ordered in the wrong size. Oh dear. Quite a few men to dance with (yipppeeee) including Mike....

.....not sure what his story is...think he is either from Raleigh or lived down there for a while. Very tanned. Doesn't dance too badly either. Appeared a week ago at the swing class. Seemed to know what he was doing...though he keeps harassing Joe/Barb cos he doesn't quite like their style of dancing. Think he's a Shagger really (that's a dance, don't think like that!). They do things a little differently in the South. Apparently, I learned this earlier, when you Shag competitively (again, dancing, enough of the bad thoughts!) you have to call the moves you're going to do.....Quite helpful really...free spin...OK, I get the idea, I messed up the first one but I'm with you now. No, it's what we do in competition. Oh, I thought you thought I was crap! Not at all. Good!!! Not sure if I like him....no, that's not quite true. Fun to dance with....loads of flirting! Hey, it works for me....and I got a kiss out of him. OK, that sounded pathetic....must be the heat again. Had an interesting conversation with him this morning. I didn't get a chance to dance with you last night....you were tied up with some man all evening. Was I, hadn't noticed. That one you were talking to? Ah, he means Joe. Hmmm....well, that means he noticed me at least. Interesting......I wonder......

Glad he was there cos I had the strangest conversation with Rob earlier. Just got back from the Jersey shore. Why you back so soon? Oh yeah, you have to work tomorrow. Correct...and I've got a date tonight. Oh. What the hell was that about? Do I need to know he's seeing another woman? I'm going to blame this on the heat as well. I should be pleased that he told me. And he said it wasn't anything special....think he actually said it was just something to do. So that sort of bodes well. And it's better than him lying to me. But it still irritated the hell out of me. Not fair. It should be me...remember...me.....went out with you....oh yeah, past tense. Well we never really ended, I just did my normal disappearing trick and moved. And I'm only up here. And you did say I should come down...and, and, and.....boooooooooo. Heat....hate it.......

And, yep there's more. For a relatively quiet day there were lots of little things that happened. What is it with Americans? They have to know everything and they have to tell everyone else everything? Maybe it's a Brit thing but my private life is just that...PRIVATE! If I wanted to tell someone something I would. I do not want people talking about me. I had some woman, who I know vaguely come up to me and congratulate me on my new job. So, it wasn't a bad thing but how the hell did she know that (1) I was looking and (2) I'd had an offer? No prizes for guessing...I know exactly how she knew. This has really annoyed me. What else is being passed on to other people????? Ssssssssssssssssssssssssss!

Fred Astaire. Dry Gulch. Tired. Hot. Sleepy.

It's all over...for now.....we lost...booohoooo....devastated........(World Cup, in case you were wondering!)

AM evening out..at local hotel. Music not bad. Michal did his usual trick and just disappeared in the middle of the evening. Jerry turned up...suprising cos he was meant to be out on a date with Robin. Guess it either didn't go too well or she told him she needed to go to bed early.......hmmm.....have to find out what happened tomorrow. He's an interesting creature. Can't work him out. Threw up, came home. Not in the middle of the dance floor so I didn't disgrace myself. Not been feeling too good...think it's a combination of heat and emotion (relief from all the recent crap)...but, whatever's causing it, it's annoying me. Not been able to eat properly for 3 days now and my insides ache. :-(

Got back and Joe had left a few IM's for me...where are you, call me. What's the matter? Wondered where you were. Are you missing me? Yes, I've not spoken to you for a while....errr...I saw you on Monday, we spoke on Tuesday, today's Thursday and I have sent you some emails. Poor thing. Can't cope without me!!!!!! :-) Going to see him tomorrow anyway....ah well, always nice to be missed. I have decided that this is my new tactic...cos it's been having a very good effect on the couple of occassions I've tried it. I need to go quiet on people for a little while and then they appreciate me so much more......mmmmmmmmmmmmmm................

Ok, you'd think that this would be a simple task wouldn't you....my passport needs to be renewed. I have the forms, I know where to send the forms, I even have the outrageous fee I need to pay...what else do I need....passport photos! Easy...Walgreens, JC Penney, Sears....you name it, they take them...don't they? Oh no, they take US passport photos. I need UK passport photos. They're the same size, they tell me....no, they're not. UK passport photos are a TOTALLY different size to those you lot use! They need to be 45 x 35 mm....(US are something like 2" x 2"). Oh, I never learned metric...what's that in inches? You have a ruler in front of you, it's not hard...it's the funny numbers along the other side!!!!! It's a helluva lot easier than working out what 1.77" looks like (that's the imperial equivalent for information). OK, well we do these little ones if you take a sheet of photos - would you like those? What size are they....oooh, they're 35 mm by .....50mm....close. They'll take 4 weeks to produce. Errr, you want me to wait 4 weeks for photos that still won't be the right size? I think not! Well I can give you these and you can cut them up yourself? Do I have any choice? Better give me some spares and don't charge me for them...she didn't. So here I sit with a ruler and scissors trying to make them the right size......

In the UK, we have these little photos booths everywhere...railway stations, post offices, shopping centres. You go in, put in about $4.50 in coins and you get 4 photos, the perfect size in a matter of moments. Here, I traipse round the portrait studios, have to pay a lot more money for TWO photos and then I have to cut them up myself......ssssssss......

And, as for Canadian immigration photos...not a hope in hell....apart from the fact they're a different size again, the paper needs to be matte (not glossy...Oh you won't get matte anywhere, we use Polaroid and that paper's glossy. Yes, I know that but I NEED matte.) and I need 5 (yes, 5...why? who knows!)...all identical from the same exposure......A very nice person in another studio told me that their cameras aren't metered correctly for this...in fact, US immigration photos never come out properly unless he stands back an extra inch!!!!! My head is now buzzing with the stupidity of it all. But I gather that I don't need to show an ear for Canada though I do for the USA.....this has to be a joke, doesn't it?????

There's a lot to said for globalization....perhaps we can extend it to photos cos I'm getting very hot and bothered!!!!!!

I see that I'm getting grief now I've got my blog "working". All I can say is that I'm sitting here waiting to drink, so where are you greybird??????

So, got a job but still have the INS to deal with....and they are such lovely people. Got my lawyer working on sorting out my work visa. And already there's a problem. First stage in the process.....you have to get certification from the Department of Labor to show that a foreign worker is not replacing US workers (OK, so you'll all cheer, I have my own thoughts on that subject) and also that they are not being bought in cheaply. Hey, there is no way I'm cheap (not when we're talking money anyway!). So, the first step is to get hold of a prevailing wage report from the DOL which shows the salary that should be paid for any position. Get this.....for my job in this area they say I should be getting an extra $2k more than I am getting. OK, I have no problem getting more money. But let's think about this....I was getting this much money in Manhattan. Where am I now? Western NY. Cost of living here is....errr, yes...it's a little lower than NYC. Cost of labor here is CHEAP!!!!! How the hell can they claim their wage report bears any relation to reality?????? There are virtually NO jobs paying that sort of money in this county.....believe me, I've applied for enough of them. They are on another planet. So, what's happening? Who the hell knows....somehow we have to work out if we can (1) lie to the INS (ooooops, didnt say that!) or (2) get more money out the company or (3) errr....there is no (3)......shit!

Oh yeah, and I have to get my passport renewed. It expires mid-2003 and the INS will only grant a visa up til 6 months before the expiry of the passport....ie, I'd only get it granted til September this year. Screw that, I want the full 3 years...which means a new passport......

And....to make it even better...I need to get this all sorted before I get a response to my application for a visitor's visa...which is due in the next 30 days.....please let it work out!!!! I don't want to have to leave the country....although my lawyer thinks I might get away with a little trip to Toronto to sort it all out....certainly would be cheaper, quicker and easier than the alternative...back to London......

So, no nothing is ever simple in my life!!!!!!


PS. Rob sent me this link. I think it says something that both he and Joe got lower scores than me. Men, huh? They think they know all there is to know about women but they're incapable of spotting fake boobs.....ha ha ha!!!!!

Where to start??? Ah yes, the ongoing saga of the PC and the virus...remember that? Joe's son bought him a copy of McAfee for father's day...how sweet! So, he wanted to install it. What do I do? Well, it's not really that hard! Will you come and hold my hand so I don't f*** it up? Of course, I will! But you'd better feed me cos it's late and I'm not cooking if I come over. Of course. Fab, be there in 30 mins. Stuck in the CD, installed, all wonderful. Simple, huh? Oh no, because now we need to check for updates. He's on dial-up - remember that....aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaagh. I am not joking - it took the best part of 2 hours to download all that extra crap we needed to get his virus files up to date. Wot is it with software companies? I know they can't update their hard copies every five minutes but surely they can come up with a better way of updating stuff. We had to download dat file after dat file to get to the most recent one! Why don't they issue a major update once in a while so new subscribers don't have such a shitty experience? And why won't he get cable or DSL???? Cos it's too expensive!! Yeah, right...actually shouldn't complain about that one.....he gave me money and I'm a much more deserving cause. So we downloaded the whole thing, got an error code, rebooted the machine, seemed OK but I left in disgust with the whole experience (not the food and drink part, the PC-related stuff!).

Oh yeah, side note about being on dial-up....it's actually quite good cos Sandy (his ex) was trying to phone him all Saturday afternoon but she couldn't get through cos he was online...heee heee....don't bother me...I just IM him....ha ha!!!!! She's very strange...thought she was quite nice, she is really....but she acts sometimes like she still goes out with him....which I don't think he appreciates though he's too nice to tell her to leave him alone. Funny!!!!

Today.....interview day again with the man with the bad back! Disastrous start to the day...my lovely blue suit has a tiny hole, which isn't really noticeable but I knew it was there.....too hot to wear anything else so decided to just go with it and hope he didn't look too closely. Set out early so I would arrive "fresh and lively"(!). Some twat in a white car decides that he would rather drive in my lane and pulls straight across into me...well, not quite into me....luckily I was paying attention and managed to swerve out of his way but he came too close for comfort. He then carried on, completely oblivious to my hooting and torrent of abuse....and pulled straight out into the other lane. Was quite hoping he'd wrap himself round the lampost but unfortunately he seemed incapable of doing harm to himself....sssssss.....

Interview was uneventful apart from a moment of complete hilarity (which I couldn't enjoy until later)....D'you mind if my father joins us? (Sniggering silently to myself)...Of course I don't mind. Let's put this in perspective...his father set up the company and is semi-retired. So it wasn't such a strange question.....but it did amuse me. All went very nicely. Bought me lunch. Asked me if I had any questions. Well, just one....are you going to give me a job? Yes! Fantastic!!!!!!! Happy, happy, happy!!!! Yes, I did actually ask him and he did say yes. I love it when that happens. And he even sent me the offer letter this afternoon - wooohoooo. Salary same as I was on. Got more vacation than I had. And he's talking about growing this into a role managing sales/marketing for the whole company on a revenue share basis....more business ownership type of stuff. Cool. This is so much better than I thought I'd get after all this time. Was definitely worth the wait. :-)

There endeth my day....tonight I shall sleep well.......

Arafat denounces 'racist' fence
Maybe if the suicide bombers stopped targetting Israel, they wouldn't be doing this like this????? Check this out - lists the bomb blasts over the last few years.....

Tonight, I planned on getting some sleep. Ha ha ha. Blown that one I guess. I have reverted to being nocturnal. This is not good. I completely missed this morning, and some of the afternoon due to not going to bed til nearly 5am. Yesterday, Fri/Sat, I made to bed about 4am. Wot's gonna happen if I get a job????? Why so screwed up? Friday night it was Rob's fault. Last night it was Joe's fault. Tonight, it's my own doing....hate it when I have noone to blame. East Coast Swing dance - that was fun. Joe made cake and he bought me a couple of pieces (continuing with the "isn't he sweet" theme, you'll note). He also bought me a wad of green wrinklies....completely out the blue, he decides to give me cash. Now that really wasn't expected. I can't take this. Don't worry, pay me back when you get a job. I LOVE YOU!!!! You are SO nice. I feel like his little pet project at the moment......he fills me up with food and drink and now this....hmmm.....told him he can have my soul (not the body, Rob has first claim on that one). In the meantime I have a lovely tank full of gas and had a proper lunch (yeah that's the other thing, not been eating properly the last few days....lunch was the only meal I had and that was about 12 hours ago....ooops......)

Wonder if I should be worried about this? Think he's just trying to look after me but don't know. Shall take it at face value and hope it's nothing more sinister..........

Well, not spoken to Joe since the head fizzling incident.....nearly three days. Dance tonight so I thought I'd call him when I got back from class this afternoon - wanted to check everything cool before I turned up again and had a shitty evening. So...got in and he was online....Hey, how are you? Why don't you call me...easier to talk! Oh shit, wot does that mean? They only usually say that when something's wrong!!! So I left it for about an hour and then I called. I'm cooking...want to come round and eat? Hmmm.....of course I do....that way I don't have to bother cooking!!!! So I did and we did. And I had some wine. Not a word about all the crap. Interesting I thought. And then he started......typical, you wait until I'm fed and slightly drunk and then you start to have a conversation with me, knowing that I'm incapable of running for the door!!!! Not at all. Actually he was curious cos I'd told him that I've been getting comments from people thinking there was something going on between us. Really? Since when? Who? Well, I'm not telling you who and since Christmas. But I didn't really spend any time with you then? I know but there were certain people (no names) who gave me a lot of grief at Jackie's holiday party about him liking me.....and there have been a lot more since. Really, wow, never thought about that. Well, it's their problem. Indeed it is. We cool? Yep, we sure are. Me happy!!!!!

The Wednesday episode kicked off cos I got annoyed that he'd invited TOW out tomorrow night. I've been going to this place to dance for a year or so...in fact it was the first place I started going to after I moved to Buff.....guess it's my little sanctuary, she's never been there and he only went last month after I've been nagging him for months. So, I was a little "irritated" when he mentioned he'd invited her there. Ssssss..but she's not going.....yipppeeeee. And she didn't turn up tonight either. So, once again I got the joy of turning up with him. Not good from the public perspective but good from the "someone to dance with" and "post dance entertainment" perspectives. He's actually sent me home with a food parcel - wasn't that sweet?! And he said that if I needed any money he would help out until i got a job.......very nice....will remember that for when I'm completely broke.....unemployment still good for another month (I called them the other day) so, we shall see......

Tonight's intrigue. When we arrived there were a load of "new" people there. There aren't that many places to do West Coast so to see so many different people is always interesting. Where are they all from? There was a couple I recognised from USABDA who I didn't think did West Coast. They didn't. So, here's the background to tonight's saga: Joe and Barb teach West Coast on Saturday mornings. There is a woman, Jackie G, who holds ballroom parties once a month at the same place as the lessons. For some reason, she doesn't get along with Joe and Barb. Whenever she has her dances we have to be out of the hall by 1.30 so she can set up (why it takes 6 hours I don't know) but Barb is insistent that we keep completely to time and leave before she arrives....usually we go on til about 2 and just mess around for a while cos noone else cares if we stay. Jackie also holds ballroom classes (for old fogies from what I understand) on a Monday evening at the same place. Joe and Barb announced that they were going to hold West Coast dances on a Monday evening during the summer....at this hall. So, there's a clash! Apparently, Joe and Barb want to take the downstairs room cos it's air conditioned....leaving Jackie the hot and sweaty room upstairs. Shouldn't be a problem, should it? Well, Jackie has found out about this and is not happy. But then it also appears that sometimes she doesn't hold her classes and doesn't bother to cancel them so the hall doesn't get their rent for the evening and loses out cos they're not able to rent the place out to someone else.

So...back to tonight. I saw all these people and jokingly said that Jackie had probably sent them to crash this dance in revenge for everything that's going on. Little did I know how close I was to the truth! Just as I was getting ready to leave Barb came up to me and starts telling me about this group of people...who are from Jackie's dances and decided to crash (wow, I was right). Some woman came up to her and started complaining about the music. This isn't Swing! Er, yes it is! Well, it's that West Coast thing! Yes, this is a West Coast dance. Well, play ballroom music or we're leaving. Err....firstly this is a West Coast Swing dance, secondly I'll play what I want to play and thirdly...leave, see if I care!!!

The world has gone mad. Do people really think they can turn up at events and completely change everything because they want something different? Barb and the other Jackie are really good about the music they play and try to cater to their audience - if they know they have a lot of ballroom people, they'll play a bit more ballroom than normal. But their dances are Swing dances so that's the focus of the music. If they wanted to hold ballroom dances, I'm sure they would. If you want to dance ballroom, you go to a place that is playing ballroom. These swing dances have been going on for as long as I've been in Buff (and probably a lot longer than that). Everyone knows that they play swing music. That's the point of them. If you don't like it, you don't go to them. Common sense....?????? Yes, people request songs and if Barb has them she'll play them. Every dance she plays one Tango...for Julius and Marge. They like to Tango, they always come to the dances, she's happy to play it for them. I've asked for a Cha Cha a couple of times...normally towards the end of the evening when there are fewer people around and, yes, she's played them for me. I know other people ask for other things.....but, guess what, we ask nicely. We don't demand! None of this....play it or we're leaving. Behave like adults can't you? You get 4 hours of dancing, a lesson and food for $5. How can you possibly complain about that?????? I've a good mind to get a load of people together to crash a Jackie G party and demand that she play more Swing.....but why lower ourselves to their level? Pathetic!

England 3-0 Denmark :-) Take that, Danes!!!!!!!

London weather this morning....it rained...and then some more. I forget how f***ing depressing rain is.....snow is inconvenient but at least it's pretty when it's stopped falling. Rain...grey, wet, completely useless!!! Though, I hear it's rained for the last two weeks back "home" so this is definitely better! Wimbledon coming up as well...guaranteed fortnight of rain...heee heee....but first...tomorrow's the match....us vs the Danes. Fingers crossed. Portugal are out....wow, who'd have thought???!!!! And the US result...didn't know whether to gloat or congratulate them......Goldie admitted they played badly! :-)

Went to FA for a lesson tonight. Very cool. Chris is a baby....we were trying to work out how old he is, probably late 20's?...but so good. Quite funny as well - he screwed up more than I did. Well, not quite....just one move he forgot how to lead, 3 times in a row. We were killing ourselves. He is determined to mimic my accent. That'll probably irritate me in a couple of days but, for now, it's amusing. Party night tonight. Not a bad turnout really. Interesting to see who was there.....there were a few people that I never thought would move from Spotlite.....v interesting.....!!!! Overall...a very good evening.....they beat the AM parties for attitude, music and food....

Just read this....it's dull, I admit it. Boring as hell. Ran out of words today. Too much benadryl....crashed out completely this afternoon, brain like mush. No idea what's wrong with me - bout of sleeping sickness. Sooooo...back to bed now...at least I can't get into trouble there....er, well, not tonight anyway! or there again....just got this from Rob......"did I ever tell you you have THE most fuckable ass?"....now on IM....he's horny...mmmm....I sense trouble in NJ.....!!!! He sooo wants me....ha ha ha...... I miss him......have to go see him sooooon......3 hours of IMing not as good as the real thing, though he now has a webcam......funny!!!!!! :-)

Spent the day shifting boxes. My back is killing me! Wasn't going to do dancing tonight but then had a last minute change of heart. Michal said he was pleased to see me. Also says he called me but I didn't get a message so I don't know if he did or not. Did dance with me...quite a lot actually. Hmmmm....maybe I should cancel more often? The Showcase, which was meant to be in a couple of weeks has been changed to July so now I'm in a big dilemma. Strictly speaking we have more than enough time to practice but I'm not sure if I want to do it. He now wants to Rhumba....after refusing to do one with me. I can't keep up with this. And which song does he like? "Joanna"...Kool and the Gang.....funny!!!! Don't know...best to sleep on it.......

Got called a "good kid" last night. Wot the hell does that mean????? Made my brain fizzle all the way home.......here's the thing....Joe tells me that he thinks I'm interested in him as more than a friend. No. Well I was, briefly, but I'm not now. Actually, let's go back a step or three. When I first met him, he was a friend. Then I had a number of people telling me that he was interested in me, which I thought was crap cos of TOW. But they wouldn't stop so I got curious and I thought about it. And that part of me thought well, maybe. And he basically said, at one point, we should sleep together so, hey, why not? But then I thought logically about it and decided that I'm NOT. So now we find ourselves in this predicament where we're both confused...although I thought we'd sorted it all out. He's telling me he's into TOW (although when I ask him he has no idea what she thinks about him, how her marriage is, whether she's ever going to leave him....etc). Yes, I know all of that...you keep telling me. Fine. I don't have a problem with that...well, I do, I don't like her. Oh that's cos she always comes off as a snob and doesn't associate with anyone else. No, really? Hadn't noticed! She's just really shy. Hmmmm....well that's not my problem....is it? Why the hell do I come off as the baddie? You can work out where this is going, can't you? Soon, I won't even be able to talk to him cos all those other people will have screwed things up for me.

Spent 90 minutes trying to explain this to him in an email last night. Probably messed it up but read it this morning and it seems ok.....at least I've made it completely clear where I am......he'll just have to work out his end of things. So...here's the definitive list.....

Why I Like Him:
- dances well
- very easy to talk to
- doesn't tell all my secrets to the world
- doesn't seem to mind when I call him cos I'm completely restless and need to do something
- makes me laugh (so cliched but true)
- also cliched but he's happy to pay for stuff which means I actually get to eat from time to time!

Why I Would Never Choose Him as My Significant Other
- too old for me - his sons are my age!!!!!! I put that first which is weird cos actually it doesn't bother me at all...guess that's coming from the head not the heart
- crap communication....can't remember when I was last so confused by someone
- not enough passion
- too nice (ha ha ha)
- my mother would completely disapprove (actually that's a reason for the other list!)
- his "aspirations" are totally different from mine
- not interested in me....hey, if I was really into him I could sort that one out!!!!

So last night I got that flashback again. It's this memory that pops up from time to time. Joe triggered it with all this crap. Just when I think the past is nicely buried, up it pops. Standing in the kitchen in Watford making dinner. My ex-husband (also known CB - complete bastard) is in there shouting at me about something. You know, I'm not sure I ever knew what it was that I'd done this time. Just remember that knife in my hand. I came so close to sticking it in his stomach. Thought it was the only way I'd ever get out of there....spending the rest of my life as a guest of Her Majesty seemed so much preferable than that life. Still cry when I think about it. Two regrets in my life and the fact I didn't stick it in him is definitely one of them. Wonder wot his mother would have said...her precious son. Yeah right. If she only knew. Col always says what doesn't kill us makes us stronger. On that basis I should have the strength of Hercules (it was him, wasnt it?). Must be taking a day off. Ah, screw it. I need a distraction. Going to play with cardboard boxes - at least they don't mess me around!!!!

Nigeria 0-0 England

Next stop...Denmark on Saturday!!!! :-)

Ooooh.....look wot I've got.....stats on my blog...cooooool. And certainly more exciting than that runtime error.....hmmmmm.......

England play tomorrow morning at 2.30am...somehow I don't think I'll be watching that. Though, if the thunderstorm we've been promised does ever hit then maybe I'll be awake so....who knows? Been too lethargic to do much today.....humidity hell....and then Joe called this evening....restless, needed to get out! Funny, I was thinking the same thing but was determined I wasn't going to call him!!! Sherri thinks it's so cool that I have male friends.....I thought that was quite funny cos I've always had more male friends than female ones....or rather more close male friends. For some reason I find them much easier to talk to. I guess it's cos they've never judged me on what I've done or do....some of them acutally seem to revel in my stories of depravity! Most of the females I know are shocked by the stuff I get up to so I've learnt not to tell them too much. There are a couple of exceptions (one of whom's probably reading this!!!)...but most American women, by which I mean most of the ones that I've met, seem quite up-tight about stuff. Though its hardly surprising when you consider that there's NO nudity on TV.....a tiny hint of human flesh and the censored box pops up. This is a country that prides itself on free speech and the right to bear arms but yet you can't see a naked woman (or man for that matter) on television.....where's the logic in that? I just watched a BBC America program, totally forgotten what it's called, about 20-somethings starting off as lawyers. In England it had to be shown after 9pm cos of the swearing. Here, they show it in the middle of the afternoon but everytime someone swears it's bleeped out.....infuriating as hell. And I remember, couple of years ago, there was an art exhibit in Manhattan....a load of naked bodies on one of the bridges. Can't remember what it was meant to represent but I do remember it made the news....but, of course, they couldn't actually show it....too much flesh!!!!!!! I remember telling my mother about it....had a good laugh over that one.

Tis a very confused country........

Denmark 2-0 France

France are out of the World Cup....couldn't have happened to a nicer country!!!!!!!!

"There is the recently muted position that any attacks on Israeli civilians should be directed at settlers only. There is disagreement as to whether the deaths of Israeli-Arab civilians who frequent restaurants are acceptable collateral damage, though the prevailing opinion seems to be that they are. On one thing all parties agree: Seeking out and shooting a 5-year-old through the head on the West Bank is just fine. But let us not imagine consensus is easy to reach on all matters. There is the Arafat policy that suicide bombings must be tactically opposed at certain moments, versus the Hamas policy that suicide bombings must continue until Israel is destroyed. Then there is the vexing question of whether American civilians are legitimate targets. Who would have thought the deliberate targeting of civilians contained so many rich aspects for debate?"

Laurence Grafstein

So, here I am...all dressed up in my best suit...in 80 degrees and wot happens? I get all the way to the interview and they tell me that the President is in bed with a bad back and there's noone else to see me. OK, so they were pretty apologetic and it wasnt that long a drive but still....could have offered me a drink before kicking me out again!!!!!! :-(

Had a long chat with Joe yesterday about stuff. If we haven't got this sorted out now, I really will give up! But he did apologise.....without prompting....that must be a first!!!! Admits that he behaves like a kid when TOW's around......yep, he does indeed....a spoilt little kid. Hee, heee. Told him he's too old for me (which he is) and that I'm going to add him to my list of adopted uncles! Very demanding job and there's an initiation ceremony (ha ha....he has no idea!). Wonder if he can cope with it? We went down to the Dock last night. The band was alright...some good stuff but too much country, which I've never been able to understand. Who wants to listen to a song about waking up in the morning and looking for your shoes (oh yeah...those were the lyrics!!!). Completely ruined Moondance as well (one of my all-time faves). But it was nice to be out in the sun, had cooled down a bit by then and my back had sorted itself out following too much abuse in the morning. Jackie was there....she's one of those people that I sometimes talk to but never really spent any time with her. Think she fits into the undecided category of people - seems OK but really not sure if I could ever actually like her. Funnily enough, Joe said the same thing.....and I thought it was just me that hated everyone!!!!! She disappeared early, which was good...too much of a good thing. Got home far too late, considering I was meant to be up early for an interview...but given it was cancelled, guess it really didnt matter.....and I'm back to happy state again...... :-)

Just been for a dance lesson...at Fred Astaire. He's so nice...remembers things, actually teaches stuff and can explain it...doesn't just expect me to work out what I'm meant to be doing!!! Fabulous. Came home full of the joys of dancing again. Was outside eating but had to come in cos I've started sneezing and I just can't stop. My eye (left) has swollen up and is streaming and I've been sneezing, almost constantly for about 30 minutes. I can't work out what this is from.....last time I was like this, I'd been sitting outside in the rain so it was sort of expected. Today...no rain, not that cold, so what is it? Never get hayfever...or maybe now I do? Ratman has a lot to answer for is all I can say........took some Benadryl, which will go nicely with red wine causing me to crash in about 5 minutes.....and, now I'm inside, I've stopped sneezing........hmmmmm.......

USABDA - remind me not to go next time I decide that it might be a good idea. I don't know what it is particularly that turns me off so much...it could be the lack of a/c, the bad music or maybe the weird people (lots of couples that refuse to dance with anyone else)....but I never enjoy it. Take last night, for example. I asked Joe H (keep up, there are more Joes coming) for a couple of dances. His "friend" who was "helping" (ha ha ha) with the music (but seemed incapable of pressing play on the CD player) decided that she didn't want to play any Cha Chas. Now this is a BALLROOM dance which means they should play BALLROOM music...which includes Cha Cha and Mambo (two pretty common dances, you'd have thought). After about 2 hours, Sharon went up to request some of these for me cos I was getting very agitated!!!! And then, when I finally get to dance, she plays something very naff and cuts it short......

So, I came home completely disillusioned with the whole thing...as I always do. Honestly, people complain there aren't enough places to do Ballroom round here but then, if you look at the way some of them act, you can understand why. Was talking to Joe (this is also a different one....don't ask me why they're all called Joe, I don't know)....I have no idea about his surname so he'll have to be Joe 2 for now......about this today. He said he'd been a few times and hated it as well. People are too serious. He was telling me he'd had an argument with someone at one of the dances cos he wasn't "regimented" enough. It's meant to be FUN. UUUUGH. Maybe I'll get him to come with me next time and we can mess around and annoy everyone....hee heee.....! Anyway, I was trying to explain to Joe 2 about the shop that sells ballroom shoes....yes, there is a shop (singlular). It's the only one and it has a very limited supply but it does exist. And it has some nice stuff at the moment. Drew him a little map and he said he'd head off there after dance class this morning. Only problem is, I realised later, that they're not open on Saturday afternoons. Ooooops. Hope he's still talking to me!

As for Joe 1, called him earlier to see if he was going to the dance tonight or if he could be persuaded to do something outdoorsy in the sun. No, going to the dance. Oh, hmm, well maybe I'll tag along as well then....not that anyone else I really know was going but it's something to do. Come over, just made lemonade. Cool. I did. Sorted out some more crap on his PC....I need to teach him the difference between downloading something and installing it, poor dear. Then, as we're leaving for the dance, he mentions that TOW might be going. Oh shit. Now he tells me. Maybe I won't go. Why not? Well, cos whenever she's there you blank me totally. No, I promise I won't do that. Yeah right. Well, better buy me some food first cos I can feel a bad evening coming on. So at least I got dinner out of him! And, yes, as we walked in...there she was. Sssssss......So, yeah, he did what he always does and forgot I existed for an hour or so. But he did dance with me....although I got upset with him and then he got upset with me....and then he forgot all his funky pattens...and it became, as Paul would say....VANILLA!!!!!!! But what really annoyed me was TOW stole my waltz partner!!!!! I had him all lined up nicely, a gold dancer who I know can waltz. We had to rotate, which was fine but then they told us to go back to our original partners.....do you think she would move????? Not at all. Missed half the lesson as a result....and she's a crap waltzer (hmmm, probably made that up). Really, really, really irritated me. Jackie came over to see if I was Ok and I had a little sound-off about things....and then I left. Was too quiet to stay...if there'd been loads of people it would have been alright...but with the weather like this, people aren't really interested in being indoors.

But, there was something interesting that occurred this evening......Joe M....(this is the 4th in this entry!) and Lori turned up. Long story...something like this.....Jackie, Joe T (number 5...and I know more as well) and Barb arrange their dances and publicise them. Last month, Joe and Lori decided to hold a ballroom dance the same evening as Jackie's dance. Jackie got very upset about this as she had arranged hers ages ago and this was the 3rd/4th time they had "clashed". So she sent out a short email having a strop about things. We all had a good laugh cos it then turned out that Joe and Lori had screwed up as they weren't even going to be in town that weekend. The end...or so we thought. Oh no. Joe and Lori sent out a whopping email that basically pulled up all the past dirt on Jackie, Joe and Barb. Nice, huh. So now there's all this crap flying round and the people who just want to dance are stuck in the middle. So...back to tonight. Joe and Lori turn up at Jackie's dance. Maybe this is an outbreak of peace? Jackie went over to say hello to them. Lori glared at her and stormed straight past.....come on, if you're going to turn up at someone else's dance you should at least be polite.....shall wait to see the next episode of this little fiasco.....

RESULT!!!!! Argentina 0-1 England...first time we defeated them in 22 years!!!!!

Now, this is interesting...the showcase has been cancelled. Can't say I'm surprised but I wonder if they'll give us a refund for the lessons we took to practise our routines??? Hmmmmm....doubt it...but v.interesting. Anyway, it does mean that I now have NO qualms about not going in for lessons. Nice!!! USABDA tonight. Don't usually like going there but Jackie's teaching West Coast and a lot of the regulars will be out of town so gonna go...and suffer in the heat no doubt, wish they'd get an air-conditioned place.........

Good day for outdoor grilling today. Do I have one? No. Well, that solves that problem!!

It had to happen....World Cup virus kicks off

And while we're on that subject.....is football an omen?

Restless again today! Went to Fred Astaire for my second private lesson. He is so good....am already hooked. Told him I don't want to learn 12 dances (like Bill at AM keeps telling me to do)...but rather I want to focus on some, get them fantastic and then go back and do the others. Also said I don't want to learn lots of patterms - I don't have a partner to practise with so what's the point? Far better to work on technique and learning to follow, i.e., understanding the "feelings" rather than anticipating the pattern. He was so cool with that. Also decided that he wanted to mock my accent. Fine by me....as long as I can mock your country!!!!! Told him about the lock-out yesterday, which amused him completely. After that the lesson had to go well. So well that I signed up for a few lessons. And I've told Robin and Sherri to go in for their introductory set and mention my name...that way, I'll get some freebies, which will make the price better!!! Have to nab Renee when she returns from Brazil (the wedding is approaching). Nearly called Tara to tell her I wouldn't be back but it got too late and I didn't want to risk running into Bill....might pop in tomorrow to catch her when he's not around.....wonder what they'll do...still waiting for Michal to call me about the cancelled lesson (don't hold your breath for that though).

Packed some more boxes today. Almost done. Wow, didn't realise I'd get it through so quickly. I know I don't have much stuff but somehow this seems to have taken a lot less time than usual....though I did take the approach of lining up the boxes and then "throwing" things into the right one....guess I've sussed it at long last? Now just have to round up people to help me move. Bob even volunteered through don't trust him on the reliability front...but we shall see.

And for the first time tonight, I didn't go dancing on a Thursday. My calf muscle still causing me grief...did I mention that? Took a step on Tuesday and nearly collapsed in agony...guess I wasn't as warmed up as I thought. Came home nearly in tears from the pain. Still aching plus they were having a talent show tonight (not dance related and I don't have any other talents that I'm prepared to perform in public...at least not in front of them!). Called Robin and told her to come over for a drink, which she did. Called Joe and asked him, if he wasn't too busy, would he like to come as well? Completely non-commital about it. Hey, not a big deal. If you're not here by midnight forget it.......10pm...guess who turned up....! Wow, I really didn't think he would. Robin decided she had to leave...after a respectable overlap (ha ha). Didn't look too good....migrane pills knocking him out. Showed me his new moves (the vertical kind) so I reciprocated with mine. Have to say that mine were much cooler but then they also cost me a lot more than his!!!! I do wish he would take "proper" lessons. I know he's a pattern person but sometimes his lead only works cos it's verbal....which is one approach but not the best. He could actually be quite good if he focused on leading for a while and forgot about new patterns....it's not as if he actually remembers them anyway, half the time he has to ask me how he's meant to get out of something he started......actually that's quite a good reflection on his approach to life....heee heeee!

Now worn myself out.....need sleep....gotta be up early tomorrow....i/v!!!! :-)

Sleep well.

Venus, the planet of Love, is the ruler of Libra. The lush green planet's movement out of your career sector in mid-June will mean a boost in your popularity. Will it be any wonder, then, that your more hedonistic tendencies might get the better of you this summer, as Venus sends the numerous possibilities for dating and passion swarming around you? July will be (how to put this?) busy and confused. But after August 8th, you can count on a cosmic coincidence to bring your Soulmate search to a happy conclusion.

And on the virus front...he's clean again! Apparently the PC is running much better as well. Oh, I wonder why?! Anyway, says he owes me for this....hmmmm what shall I ask for............

12.30: I decided to leave Sherri's place and head back to the other place. It's Wednesday so it's unemployment check day. I figure if I time it right I can collect the check, get to the bank, pick up a few things, put some juice in the car and head back before the cable guy turns up at 3 to sort me out. All goes well....I park in the driveway, just getting out the car when someone from across the street runs over to me. Is that a WRX, he asks. No, it's an RS, the model down. WRX wasn't out at the time I bought this. I'm thinking about getting a WRX, mind if I look it over? No problem. Can I see the engine? Sure...take a look....ooops, maybe I'd better put the handbrake on before I run you over (I should have known then that things were going to get worse!!!!) Nice car. Yeah, I like it. Where you from? London. Nice accent! Thank you...starting to get annoyed now.....checking out the car was OK. Checking out me...that's a no no. Hey, I'm a man...he actually said that.....that in itself is scary!!! So, you live here alone? Yes. (Thinking: leave me alone, I'm not interested). Not got your boyfriend living with you? I live on my own. (Thinking: none of your f***ing business). OK, well thanks for letting me see the car...maybe I can come back and see you when I get mine? Yeah, s'pose so. (Thinking: yeah, come back, I'll have moved by then!)

Got rid of him, go inside, sort out the stuff I need, get my check (yippee). Just picking up everything so I can leave and the doorbell rings. No prizes for guessing who it is. So I'm standing outside trying to be very polite but telling him I'm really not interested and I need to go now cos I'm in a hurry. Come back inside and the inside door to my apartment is shut. Try to open it. ****, it's locked. How the hell did I manage that? So, I'm now outside a locked apartment with no keys, the car has my bag in it and it's locked, I don't have a cellphone and all I can think about is the fact that Adelphia's coming to sort my powerlink out at 3pm. I have no way in and I don't want to go out cos that guy's still hanging around. Ran upstairs to see if, by any chance, there are some keys in there. No, well it was a long shot! Run round the back of the apartment...side door locked. Back window shut. POOH! OK, don't panic. Just as I'm about to go across the road to ask Felix if I can borrow his phone...he pulls out the driveway. No car next door and it's a bit early for him to be back but maybe.......? Yes, yipppeee. Once he stops laughing, I borrow his phone to call Mel. Hey, remember you said it was impossible to lock myself out? Well...errr....I locked myself out! Sure, she has the keys, she'll be right over.

Go back, sit on the porch. Now it's raining on me and I'm stuck outside.....And he's still across the street shouting at me....am I lonely? Can he come over? No, I'm not and no, you can't. UPS man turns up....oh cool, maybe it's something interesting? Nope, not for me. Man opposite drives off shouting something about missing an opportunity of a lifetime. Yeah? I think I'll survive...and with a car like that he reckons he can afford a WRX? Hmmmmmm......think not.

1.15pm ish: Mel appears in her truck laughing at me. Has a huge bundle of keys. Tries them all. None of them fit the inside door. Never fear, she has one for the side door. Cool. Have you got one for the kitchen door? Why? Cos it's shut and I can't open it from this side....I never had a key so if I go in that way, I have to remember not to lock it. Tries all her keys. She hasn't got one. Oh dear. We still can't get in. Got your cellphone with you? No, she didn't think to bring it. OK....plan of action, stop off for gas, get some ciggies so we can calm down, return to her place, find out where the key might be, come back and try again!

1.45ish: Back at her place we find a drawer full of keys but NONE of them are for my apartment.....they should be hanging by the front door. Yippeee, we got them!!! Grab the keys, head back to me. 5th key we tried worked...we're in!!!!!! Woohoooo........It's now 2.15 and I have to run round like crazy to do everything and get back here for the cable guy....but I made it!!!!!

So, there you have, a typical Wednesday and now I'm left wondering why the cutest man I've seen for a while turns up while I'm sat outside a locked apartment with no hope of being able to invite him in for anything and why the man who gets to spend the afternoon in my bedroom (Adelphia man) is as ugly as sh*t???? Answers on a postcard please.........

Take this quiz or visit survey.JUNKIE for more surveys!

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I HATE Adelphia. The WNY area has been without cable access since yesterday and do they care? No, of course they don't. You'll just have to wait til it gets resolved. Honestly...what a crap service. Told them I had to work from home and was completely reliant on them....you shouldn't be using this for work was all they could say. So here I am on dial-up......uggh. Makes me shudder just listening to that horrible whiny sound as the modems talk to each other....I can almost feel the cold sweat beginning to form...I don't have time for this.........no wonder they're going down. Couldn't have happened to a nicer company...well, apart from Verizon...who seem incapable of cancelling services when I ask them to. Did they really think I'd notice when they billed me for stuff I asked them to cancel a month ago???? We'll give you a credit on your next statement. Yeah, right...so in the meantime, they take my money....nice arrangement.

Did have some fun last night. Joe's had this strange thing happening on his PC...everytime he downloads an MP3 file he ends up with a .vbs file as well. Must be a virus, says I. Got any antivirus software? Er, no, should I? Well, yes...how long have you had this PC? About 4 years. I see and did you ever have any anti-virus software on it? No. OK. Let's download some....so we did....on dial-up....aaaaagh...painful!!!!! And then I ran it for him....not bad, he's only got 1200 infected files (over 10% of the stuff he's got on there) and there were 5 different viruses. Nice. He was gutted...looks like his porn is screwed...ha ha ha. And of course his PC crashed just as we started cleaning them all up. Left him to rerun the thing and went home to bed. Couldn't take any more excitement. Did give him strict instructions not to send anything to anyone or download anything 'til he'd cleaned himself up.....like that'll happen. Oh well..I'm sure I'll hear more on the saga later......

England 1 - Sweden 1
Better than a loss but not as good as a win!

Very emotional day...actually given the time...it's now a day and a bit...but still more emotion than I can handle!!! Been through everything today. Woke up this morning and decided I was going to give the dance class a miss...hey, it's the first one in nearly 3 months that i've blown off...that's pretty good. Thought I'd start packing...burst into tears. Calmed down....packed a bit...a little tiny bit...burst into tears again. Got depressed, sat at the PC doing the mundance clear-up of junk email. Ok, pretty safe....until I notice...yes, he's online....hmmm.....should I? Of course, I should! So I beep him and we have a little chat about things and I tell him I'm very unhappy and he should come round...maybe he will, maybe not....we know what that means. So few more tears....pathetic I hear you cry. Yes completely but I forgot moving is tough and I need to be in the right frame of mind to pack. Somehow get motivated. Actually found that wrapping china in bits of paper is pretty theraupeutic....note that down for future reference.

About 11am realise that I've not eaten since yesterday lunchtime...aha my sugar levels are obviously screwed up...perhaps that's why I'm being so silly. Eat. Much better. Speak to Sherri...went round to see her. She's going away in about 6 hours so she gave me a set of keys and her telephone number...just in case. The sun is shining now....beautiful out and I'm stuck inside playing with cardboard....typical! Next doors's started work on his fence.....banging around so the house shakes....ssssss......

Really pathetic now...checked IM...he's not online. I'm not phoning him...he can call me! Much more positive. Speak to Robin and told her the saga of last night and the moving depression. She's trying to be chirpy and tell me this is all positive stuff but I can tell she's really trying to convince herself as much as me. Anyway, she refuses to come out to play tonight...friends in town so wants to see them. Sharon called...being her usual non-commital self...well, I don't know if I'm going to go cos it's so hot.....etc., etc......whatever!

It's now about 5pm and I need a bath. Just sitting here drying off and.....IM beeps.....why don't you come over to my place before the dance tonight?? Hmmmm.....now Robin would tell me that I shouldn't go but I'm thinking that if I go over, I can make him drive there...which means we go together so that means we leave together...and it doesn't matter who else turns up....I get first dibs on the post-party entertainment. Plus I'm weak. Of course I'd love to come over...even though I'm half naked, not eaten, hair still wet and now I need to be out the house in 10 minutes......made it...and then get stuck behind some student driver tootling along at 25mph...overtake, no way, not the way he's meandering across the road. So, I was late but only a few minutes. Get the tour of the house, drink, talk, check out a few new songs...then leave for the dance. At this point we are like 30 minutes late so I'm thinking yippeee...we can make an entrance...posession is 9/10 of the law...get your hands off him ladies!!!!!!! And yes, he drove!!! I'm so devious.

The dance itself was fairly non-eventful. No Sharon, no TOW (yippee but also a bit boo cos it would have been nice to rub her nose in it!!!). Bob did turn up despite saying he wouldn't. Phyliss was also back after 7 weeks off from knee surgery.....looks pretty good but still taking it easy. Then afterwards, well we had to go back to his place, didnt we....my car was there, wot, you think I'm stupid or something! Won't go through the rest of the evening but we talked about stuff and I think we've got some things resolved...just have to wait and see.....at any rate, my equilibrium has been restored and again it's another night when I return to my little bed in a good mood...and wot more can I want at the moment? Oh yeah...he sort of hinted about going out tomorrow (later) but I didn't actually get a proper invite...although I pushed so we shall see...just have to make sure I'm available in case.......and if I'm not, well I know who he'll be with and it's noone threatening so it doesn't matter!